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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

LESSON LEARNED




Failed relationships are not always such a bad thing. The silver lining in this tragedy is that there is a reason or several reasons why a relationship between two persons did not work out. And you should be grateful for those things. They can show you what you want from someone, what you need to maintain a relationship, how to do better next time, what you need to improve and change, and what is important to look for in someone you want be with. Memories and mementos are not the only things you can get from your past romance. You now understand more about yourself, your partner, and relationship especially the one that just ended. It becomes evident that you need to be with someone who wants the same things as you, you might realize that serious, committed relationship is just not for you at this point of your life, or you know that it does not matter how gorgeous someone is if you cannot trust them or they you. You can see that love, passion, and romance mean nothing and last shortly as long as they are not supported by the likes of maturity, patience, and honesty. It goes without saying that there are tens of different things that you might discover from destruction of your own relationship. But let it be something that can help you be a wiser man or woman and point you in the right direction.
It may not be apparent at first, but if you spend time to chew it over you will be able to see it. And you kind of have to do this so you will not commit the same mistake again, whether it is with the same person or with an unknown subject. As long as you do not do something about what caused your relationship to fall apart last time, then your next one or ones will not be much different. Whether or not it is the same way as before, it will end. Sometimes you can figure out the reason yourself and the other times your ex or friend will enlighten you. Whatever it is they told you or you thought of, you need to evaluate it first before you decide the validity of it. Try to be objective and admit, at the very least to yourself, if something was indeed your fault.
Hindsight is always 20/20. Now that you know better, you cannot stop thinking how you should have tried harder, you should have given more, you should have listened to them, you should have seen or known what you needed to do, and you should have thought about the ramifications. Nevertheless, merely realizing your error is not enough for you need to investigate the reason behind it so you can prevent yourself from ever doing that again. Ask yourself why you did something the way you did it and the answer will always be similar every time. You believed that it was what you wanted, you thought you were right, and at the time it was the easier thing to do. The lesson here is that there is always a chance that you could be wrong about something. Let this show you the importance and value of always thinking carefully and at length at least once before doing or saying something harmful. What you can learn from this is that most of the time, the hard choice is the right and necessary thing to do.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST




Life is but once and life is too short. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Live today as if it is your last day because it could prove to be just that. You never know. Do something that you want and have never tried before. Maybe you were afraid or you thought there was going to be ample time. You may have been led to believe that you will die when you are old. You ignore the fact that people die so young and unexpectedly because you simply do not want to believe that you could or are going to die today or in the foreseeable future. But that is what people who just discovered they have terminal diseases and were about to die had always thought. Life can change drastically in a matter of seconds. You do not want to get to the point where there are many things you want to do but you only have so little time at your disposal. You would not be able to choose which one you want to do first because they all are just very important and you are too distressed by the impending doom. You want to live only when it is all you can do. Eat and drink things that you can actually relish, buy something that you have always craved, or go someplace you have never been. What is the point of living longer if you are miserable?
Letting go of the past and stop worrying about what will or will not happen are necessary too for you to be able to live in the moment. You can never change what happened but you can learn from it so you do not make the same mistakes and you can teach yourself to be more careful, smart, and wise. There are opportunities in the present that will never come back while you are busy being stuck in the past. If something that you are afraid of does not happen then you will have wasted useful time for nothing. If it has to happen and there is not a thing you can do to prevent that, then why bother? Bad, awful things will always happen to you no matter what you do. That is life. The best you can do is enjoy it while you can because there is no telling when and how the unpleasantness will arrive. The thing about planning your life is that you rarely take into account the things that you cannot control and predict and how it is going to impact your scheme. That is why not one person’s life ever turned out exactly the way they had mapped it out. Why wait for a completion of a plan, for something that may or may not happen, to be happy? Of course, that is not to say that you should just have fun nonstop because what you do today does affect your future. Therefore, you need to make sure that you do not do anything stupid like not studying, practicing, or working. What good is today’s pleasures if it means tomorrow’s troubles and regrets? 

Monday, February 13, 2012

SHOWTIME





Some people say their love with words, some show with action, others prove with both, but most hide their true feelings. However, you cannot and should not expect your partner to just understand and accept they way you love them. Give them some signs of the fact that you do love them because in their eyes and heart it might not look or feel that way at all. Saying you love someone is meaningless if you cannot show it. It is not enough to just say it. It is easy to say things. Consider showing your love for your partner the way they would want you to even if it is just once in a while. They can be very surprised, pleased, and happy to know that you care about them enough to do it. You should also know that it is going to take time for your partner to see your love for them. They may not realize right away that it is how you evince your love, it is concealed behind your lack of availability, or because they are preoccupied with other things. And the problem with hiding your feelings and not showing them every now and then is that maybe they are not so much hidden as gone. In the end, what matters is not how you display it but the fact that you do show it. 
You need to love in a way that feels right and comfortable for you. You need not love someone like the way it is in stories, fairy tales, television, or movies because those are fantasies and you live in real world where not everything is romantic, cute, sweet, perfect, happy, and beautiful. You should not blame or hate yourself if you cannot love someone in a gentle, warm, direct manner. 

Thursday, February 9, 2012

CHANGE






When you have someone else in your life, you will have to deal with and start trying to accept the fact that your life cannot remain the same. Most relationships fail because people cling to their old ways and refuse to adopt necessary approaches and adapt to unfamiliar and uncomfortable situations. The whole point of being in a relationship is so that your life can change. And for it to change, you have to be willing to. You do not like changes because you love the way things are now. But changes will not be changes forever. If you learn to adjust to them then they will become part of your new self and your new life. To change properly, meaning that the right changes are made and that they can be beneficial, one has to know first what one needs to change. One basic fact that can help and you must already know is that everyone is different, including you and your partner. You may have agreed to build a relationship together, but that does not mean that you somehow changed your identities. And when there are differences, there are discords. To avert disagreements, find out things about you that are likely to cause them and do something about it.

Nevertheless, changing yourself is not all of it. Seeing how you and your partner have altered and are changing each other's life must be done as well. Notice both positive and negative differences that have occurred as a result of your relationship. This is how you determine if the relationship has produced the aimed outcome and what course of action that must be taken if you plan on staying together. Let us take it one by one, starting with in what ways your life has been transformed by your partner. You may feel like you are a lot better person now because they are a good influence on you. They remind you that everyone has feelings so you treat them more nicely. They explain why there are rules in public places so you begin to follow them. They find and tell you the good things that you have so you no longer loathe yourself. They also complete you by bringing the things that you need. Their confidence relieves your doubt, their courage calms your fear, and their wisdom ends your folly.

Being a good partner is not particularly similar for everybody. Different couples will require distinct changes and produce dissimilar effects. While all relationships welcome endearing qualities such as caring, fun, kind, honest, or understanding, you have to remember that those all are who you are. Whoever your partner is, you would still be that way. But since you are with this particular one, then your relationship will have its own characteristics. The way they affect your life must be different from that of other people. If you have been with more than one person, then you must be able to realize this. That is merely one end of the process, though. The other one is about what you could do for them. There must be something, or some things, that your partner needs from and looks for in you above all. Maybe it is safety, patience, candor, or sincerity. It could be anything. What you should do is look at the other relationships that they already have. They have family, friends, and coworkers. See what they do not get from those other people because that is where you can come in. Be their partner, not just have them as yours.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Contents


PART ONE: SELF

CHAPTER 1
PILOT
The Common Things
The Unfairness of Life
Black, White, and Grey
Money and Happiness
The Little Things
Meaning and Purpose
Living Life to the Fullest
Saving the World

PART TWO: DATING

CHAPTER 2
JOHN DOE & JANE DOE
Of Types, Criteria and Standards
Self-Improvements
The Crossroads
When Worlds Collide
Friendship and Romance
Execution
Rejection

CHAPTER 3
RESERVATION FOR TWO
Introduction
Extending Courtesy
Altering Personality
Having Conversation
Save the Date
Conclusion
The Talk
Moving On

CHAPTER 4
FIGHT OR FLIGHT
Sources of Fear
Risks and Reward
Challenges and Temptations
Settling Down
The Candidates

PART THREE: RELATIONSHIP

CHAPTER 5
PARTNERS
The Beginning & The End
Evolution
Change
The Others

CHAPTER 6
SILENCE IS GOLDEN
Doing It
Words Substitute
Causes & Effects

CHAPTER 7
MURPHY’S LAW
Know Your Enemy
The Core of It
Available Help
A System for All
Breaking up is Hard to Do

CHAPTER 8
L
Love and Hate
Desperate for Love
First Love
Afraid of Love
What You Want Is Not What You Get
Showtime
Loving Someone

CHAPTER 9
THE NEXT LEVEL
Questions
The Future
The Big Day

PART FOUR: MARRIAGE

CHAPTER 10
WELCOME
Marriage
Duties
Family
Home
In-Laws
Relations
Living Together
Goals
Divorce

CHAPTER 11
AGAIN
Life Happened
Making Memories
Memory Lane
Your Precious

CHAPTER 12
LIFE AS WE KNOW IT
Managing Lives
Staying Connected
Me Time

CHAPTER 13
SICKNESS, POORER, WORSE
In Sickness and In Health
For Richer or For Poorer
For Better or For Worse

PART FIVE: PARENTHOOD

CHAPTER 14
FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR CHILD
Father Mother
A Reason
Holding the Horses
Common Mistakes
Discussion
Preparation
Adjustments
Conceiving
Pregnancy

CHAPTER 15
NEW BEGINNING
Child Care
Point of No Return
Partners and Parents

CHAPTER 16
TOMORROW
Great Parents
Setting Priority
Teamwork
Protection
Befriend
Teacher

CHAPTER 17
THERE’S MORE THAN ONE OF EVERYTHING
Single Parent
Divorced Parents
Substitute Parent
Adoptive Parents
Special Parents

PART SIX: FAREWELL

CHAPTER 18
A PAIN IN THE HEART
Flashback
The Lasts
Life Goes On

CHAPTER 19
THE HARD WAY
Hard Feelings
Missing Item
Irrational Thinking
Misery Loves Company
Getting Over Breakup
Lesson Learned
Reuniting
Single Life
Starting Anew

CHAPTER 20
STATE OF THE UNION
Taking On the World
Rebuilding Life

CHAPTER 21
AND THEN THERE WERE NONE
Grieving
Guilt & Regret
Letting Go
Redecorating
The Memories

CHAPTER 22
EVERYBODY DIES
Getting Old
Dying
Unfinished Business
Sudden Death
Suicide
Death